Keeping Silence

Harbor in Belfast

When I first went public with the intent to go into silence for three months, just about everyone asked the same question. “Aren’t you even going to talk to Joel?” Joel is my beloved husband who just recently retired along with me after co-pastoring an active church on midcoast Maine for the last eighteen years. Our personal and work lives have been so intertwined that it seemed impossible that I would make a decision to take this separate path. Especially while living in the same house.

The first thing I want to say is that keeping silence is about more than “not talking.” It is, I think, about attending to life and the world in a more intentional way, including attending to the man who lives in my house. We will not be fully separate in this silence.

But it will be different. We will not be filling our space with words, or at least, I won’t. My own spoken words, the television chatter, music lyrics, all will cease. I will be listening to and for something else, something I haven’t allowed myself much of since entering ministry, which is ironic since I do have a strong feeling that silence is the environment in which God dwells. I love Meister Eckhart’s assertion that there is “nothing so much like God as silence.” So I can pretty confidently say that all of this springs from my deep longing for God, whoever, wherever, and whatever that is!

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Author: Dwelling in Presence

Striving to live in the present where Spirit is found, I get (t)here most often by writing. It keeps me grounded in both the silence and in my senses. So, welcome to my journal. With a home on mid coast Maine, I have recently retired from 18 years as copastor of The First Church in Belfast, United Church of Christ, with my spouse, Joel Krueger. My spiritual formation has been nurtured by the sensual and sacramental faith of the Roman Catholic church, the heady intellectualism of Yale Divinity School and doctoral studies at Northwestern University, and the justice activism of the United Church of Christ in which I am ordained. Yale Divinity gave me the opportunity to study with pastoral theologian Henri Nouwen who I continue to think of as spiritual mentor these many years later. I have begun this blog to be certain to reach out in a time of great transition and chaos. We are suffering a worldwide pandemic, a global climate crisis, a war-damaged world and great upheaval in the church. With these reflections, I want to share what gives me joy and that which gives me pause. I look forward to hearing yours comments.

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