From Word to Image in Meditation

Rev. Dr. Kate Winters

The golden orb of the sun, just a shade darker than the flame on my Lenten candle, is rising through the trees. Light has been at the center of my morning silence. I began early today, around 3:30, with a timed twenty minute meditation often called Centering Prayer in the Christian tradition. The beautiful book I’ve been reading for the third time, Martin Laird’s Into the Silent Land, inspired me to try again. I’ve begun this practice many times before but found myself frustrated and giving up after a month or two. I was not too excited to begin again, but I have a stubborn streak!

I think I mentioned in an earlier post that I have a love/hate relationship with words and usually end up fighting with them. Although the meaning of the prayer word or phrase in this practice is not supposed to matter, I would inevitably wind up wrestling with it. Not helpful!

Today’s meditation was different. I began by lighting the candle and watching the flame for a few minutes. When the Tibetan bell rang on the timer, I closed my eyes. By then, the flame had been literally taken inside, as the image of a light that is stared at for a time seems to fix itself on the inside of your eyelids. At that point, this image of flame became my “prayer word” as I stayed with it and returned to it should a thought begin to distract me.

I imagined the light sinking down from my head into my heart, as advised by my teacher of long ago, Henri Nouwen. For the first time, this made sense to me, even physical sense. At this point, I felt the light grow, lighting and warming my whole chest cavity, shining outward as well as inward. Yes, I have a strong imagination, but I also believe in an indwelling God. Was this a gracious hint of that truth? I stayed with this sensation as long as I could, just a few minutes.

My prayer this morning is that I can walk through this day attending to, feeding, and shedding this light in places that need it. Like the Quakers, I do believe that we all hold the light inside, the flame which I understand as the warm love of God. Let’s build a benevolent conflagration!

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Author: Dwelling in Presence

Striving to live in the present where Spirit is found, I get (t)here most often by writing. It keeps me grounded in both the silence and in my senses. So, welcome to my journal. With a home on mid coast Maine, I have recently retired from 18 years as copastor of The First Church in Belfast, United Church of Christ, with my spouse, Joel Krueger. My spiritual formation has been nurtured by the sensual and sacramental faith of the Roman Catholic church, the heady intellectualism of Yale Divinity School and doctoral studies at Northwestern University, and the justice activism of the United Church of Christ in which I am ordained. Yale Divinity gave me the opportunity to study with pastoral theologian Henri Nouwen who I continue to think of as spiritual mentor these many years later. I have begun this blog to be certain to reach out in a time of great transition and chaos. We are suffering a worldwide pandemic, a global climate crisis, a war-damaged world and great upheaval in the church. With these reflections, I want to share what gives me joy and that which gives me pause. I look forward to hearing yours comments.

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