Faces of God

Rev. Dr. Kate Winters

Having risen later than usual, I have company as I write. I can see Joel in the kitchen gathering ingredients for a pot roast stew we will share tonight with Julie, a friend coming to visit from Wisconsin. He whistles as he gathers the onions and goes to the refrigerator for the carrots. Everyone can tell when Joel arrives to a place by that ever-present whistle. He brings with it a spirit that is light and kind. The atmosphere is changed when he walks into a room. Yes, I have a bias towards my husband, but there aren’t too many people who would disagree with me. Except, perhaps, for those who have a problem with joy.

The friend flying in from Wisconsin also has a very particular presence. A nurse, health and wellness instructor, and spiritual director, Julie’s face is one of deep compassion. She has a way of stilling turbulent hearts. It was to her house I needed to go after my mother suddenly died. I was beside myself with anxiety and grief. She brought me back to myself where I could begin to face this new reality. Once her pastor, she now encourages my spirit to grow and expand in new ways. Her presence is one of healing.

The book I am currently reading is by Howard Thurman, theologian, pastor, and mystic of the 20th century. A man of his time, the language of his book Meditations of the Heart is heavily masculine, particularly in references to God. But for some reason I am not as disturbed by it as I usually am. His spirit feels wide and inclusive. I am finding that he names some things that I have felt in my experience lately that give me peace. He writes: “A ground of calm underlies experiences whatever may be the tempestuous character of events. This calm is the manifestation in life of the active, dynamic presence of God.” (p. 29)

In the hospital, just after my heart catheterization and being told I needed triple bypass surgery, I found in the midst of it a deep calm flooding through me. A kind of comforting silence. Yes, I am afraid, but there is something in me deeper than my fear. With Rev. Thurman I can only attribute this to the “actve, dynamic presence of God.”

On this snowy morning, God has come to me in three faces. The face of my beloved, whistling Joel, the face of my dear friend, Julie, and the face of a deceased author who somehow shares my experience. Joy, healing, and peace are mine in this moment. With what face does the presence of God come to you?

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Author: Dwelling in Presence

Striving to live in the present where Spirit is found, I get (t)here most often by writing. It keeps me grounded in both the silence and in my senses. So, welcome to my journal. With a home on mid coast Maine, I have recently retired from 18 years as copastor of The First Church in Belfast, United Church of Christ, with my spouse, Joel Krueger. My spiritual formation has been nurtured by the sensual and sacramental faith of the Roman Catholic church, the heady intellectualism of Yale Divinity School and doctoral studies at Northwestern University, and the justice activism of the United Church of Christ in which I am ordained. Yale Divinity gave me the opportunity to study with pastoral theologian Henri Nouwen who I continue to think of as spiritual mentor these many years later. I have begun this blog to be certain to reach out in a time of great transition and chaos. We are suffering a worldwide pandemic, a global climate crisis, a war-damaged world and great upheaval in the church. With these reflections, I want to share what gives me joy and that which gives me pause. I look forward to hearing yours comments.

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