Tag: Healing

HEALING FOG

Rev. Dr. Kate Winters, June 26, 2023

As I settled into my writing space this morning, the fog was deepening outside. Creeping up from the bay about a mile down the steep hill to the harbor, it makes its climb gently and surrounds me with blessing. Fog is the meteorological condition that brings me most easily and deeply into silence. It’s like being surrounded by the knitted shawl your mother made, soft and calming.

I know it can be different for those out on the water who may lose visibility and direction, but even the sound of the fog bell on the buoy off land is like a call to prayer. A reminder that we are never alone in the mist.

Admittedly, a younger me was not so thrilled with fog. It made my hair frizzy in about thirty seconds. Now that frizz is simply a sign of being touched by the soft movements of the Creator. The humidity of a cool fog is sweet on an early summer morning. I will have a halo of frizz for the rest of the day.

As I sit here with my legs straight out on the sofa, I happen to notice that my body has been doing some good work . The inch and a half wound that was to the right and under my left knee has just about healed. The unsightly initial cut has become a soft pink scar, nearly invisible. This is where one of my veins was removed to create a bypass vessel for my heart. The other was a mammary vein that the surgeon told me was “God’s gift to cardiologists” because it worked so well to provide two of the other veins needed. I liked it that he described it this way, it was an acknowledgement that not everything was up to him. The body provides what we need to heal and thrive. Yes, the medical intervention is nearly miraculous, but the body itself is always the first miracle.

And now, I am surrounded by an even thicker shroud of fog. I think I will step out on the back deck and breathe it in. Treat this body to some heavenly-sent moisture. The healing of body and soul continues…

Healing Journey

Rev. Dr. Kate Winters, May 22, 2023

I shake my head as I check this week’s calendar. On tomorrow’s space, May 23rd, I had written “Breaking Silence.” Never had I made a plan that had run so far off the rails as this one. I was longing for silence and what it would teach me when the universe decided there was another kind of journey I needed to take.

Instead of mystics and hermits, I was led into it by cardiologists and hematologists, the high priests of medicine. No matter how much I wanted to protest, I knew it would be to my own peril. So I had to give myself over – body, mind, and spirit.

The first few days after surgery are kind of lost to a maze of faces and medications. Fortunately, the most constant face was of my beloved Joel who kept telling me that I was alright. Most of the faces were kind, but none could anchor me like his, could remind me that I was still me in this very unfamiliar place, perhaps a bit lost, but still able to be found.

So, tomorrow I was meant to break my three month silence but instead I am going to see my surgeon for our sugical follow-up. Perhaps he will discharge me out of the hallowed halls of Maine Med back to life as I knew it, with some cardiac rehab on the side.

Will I then pursue my initial plan of silence? I think I need to begin with what I am needing now. I did not expect to be on such an intense healing journey. And I kid not when I say this journey is one step forward and two steps back. Well, maybe it is not that precise. There are also steps of side to side and times of simply standing in place. I knew this was true of emotional healing, but now I know that the body’s is not linear as well. And damn, this can be frustrating!