Rev. Dr. Kate Winters “Dwelling in Presence”, June 12, 2023
Thank God for Dr. Marvin Ellison! Marvin was my Ethics professor in seminary as well as my friend. He and husband Frank took Joel in for the five days I was in the hospital in Portland. If that wasn’t enough, he took the time to come and visit me on one of my last days there bearing a gift, the latest book by Carter Heyward, one of my favorite feminist theologians, entitled The 7 Deadly Sins of White Christian Nationalism: A Call to Action. To be honest, just the title was enough to take my breath away in the state I was in. And the weight of the book nearly exceeded my doctor’s prescribed limit for lifting. Was this the best thing for me to be reading now? In all honesty, I could not concentrate enough to read anything at all. The hospital menu baffled me!
But this is a new day. No, my concentration has not fully returned, but something is changing. When I returned home after surgery, I remember walking into the house and plopping myself down in one corner of the sofa in the living room. After that, for six weeks I rarely left it. When the physical therapist or the visiting nurse came, I was seen in that corner. When friends would stop over, I would greet them from that corner. I did sleep in my bed, but early mornings would find me right back in that corner.
I didn’t recognize that I was hiding out there until I realized that Joel had erected my beloved screen tent on the deck weeks before and I had yet to go outside. Instead of blessed afternoons surrounded by clouds, trees, and birds, I was in the living room under an afghan made by a friend in my corner on the sofa. Yes, I had my little excursions down to the mailbox and back to fulfill my walking requrements, but I would return right to my spot to read, to write, drink my coffee, and doze. It seems it had become my “safe place.”
I wonder if this is a common occurrence – when one has had a traumtic event like open-heart surgery, does one seek safety following it? Was I making my world very small so as not to be challenged in any way by what else was out there? I had created this cocoon for myself and only felt comfortable within. I was even hesitant to sit on the other side of the sofa! How crazy is that? And yes, in case you are wondering, I am in my corner right now.
Now, there is nothing wrong with seeking comfort, but my mind is in a new place. I sit here, finally, with Marvin’s gift open on my lap. In the first chapter, in Heyward’s words, it is telling me that it is time to speak out on “behalf of a God of justice, love, and peace.” (p.4) Actually, this has long been Marvin’s gift to his students, a perspective on life in which they, we, have a purpose, one in which they, we, could do something to bring about justice for all people. We cannot afford to stay in our cocoons for too long seeking safety and comfort. There is a time for courage and stepping out when the injustice that infects our society is all too evident in our time and place. No doubt, it is all too evident now.
So, Marvin, thank you for the latest call to action in the form of Carter Heyward’s book. It is clear to me that I cannot “dwell in presence” these days by staying cocooned off from the fear that my LGBTQ friends live with day in and day out, as well as the terror that stalks our schools in this age of gun violence. If I start an injustice list here, I’ll never end, so for now, I’ll just commit myself to become more intimately acquainted with the roots of all this evil and offer my new strength (I’m counting on this new heart!) in whatever way I can to weaken them. I’d like to just pluck them all out, but that’s going to take every single one of us to leave our own comfortable corners.
Dwelling in Presence 