TMI

Rev. Dr. Kate Winters

Spoiler Alert! I am about to write about undergarments, so if this is too intimate a topic to come from someone who may be your former pastor or spiritual guide, skip this post. It is what is on my mind, and as you know by now, I always start where I am.

Yesterday, I broke my first retirement promise to myself. I had vowed that I would never wear a bra again! I have hated them ever since my first purchase in adolescence. The feel of anything tight or restricting on any part of my body has always given me a sinking feeling as if I were being punished for something I did not do. Made to sit in the corner, when I longed to run around. People have often asked me why I always wear loose and flowing clothing. No, it has had nothing to do with wanting to hide my body. I just wanted for this body to feel easy and free!

So, what happened yesterday? I was following instructions. The nurses in cardiac care said that women who have bypass would need to bring a front closure bra with good support to aide in healing after surgery. So I went to “City Drawers,” the trendy little lingerie shop in downtown Belfast. At 67, I had my first real bra fitting! First, I was shocked by the actual size I was (now that really would be too much information), and then by the garment I was brought. It had so many eyes and hooks down the front and the back, it looked like an instrument of torture. (No offense to “City Drawers,” the rest of the merchandise looks just lovely!) It took me forever to put it on. The very sweet saleswoman came to check on me. “Perfect” she said. So I left the store with this beige contraption that looked as if it came from my greatgrandmother’s underwear drawer.

When I got home, I took it 0ut of its cute little bag and wondered if this thing was truly going to help me heal. Even looking at it, I feel old and depressed. Luckily, I did order from Amazon two cute nightshirts that button up the front as we were instructed to have. I will not be able to put anything over my head for a while. I do feel like myself in them with lots of room to breathe.

We head down to Portland the day after tomorrow for surgery prep with the operation on Friday. I have been assured that friends will be looking after Joel, who though he never shows it, is a huge worrier, and that I will be accompanied by a boatload of prayers. I have an excellent surgeon and good insurance. So, I guess it is a blessing that my biggest worry this morning is whether I will really have to wear that bra. I will be fighting it with all the strength I will have…