Dull Moon

Rev. Dr. Kate Winters, Friday, May 12, 2023

The quarter moon is high in the sky this morning, but it is not shining. Its light is muted and dull, appearing as if it has lost some important source of energy. If I had not heard yesterday that wild fire smoke in Canada is casting shadows across Maine skies, I would be convinced that the moon is displaying empathy for me. A dull, heavy light seems to be about all I am capable of right now.

Yes, in the past week I experienced some of the most amazing miracles of modern medicine, and I know my gratitude will surface at some point. But we forget that great suffering often accompanies these miracles. I had a front row seat to that of my own as well as to the deep pain of others. It leaves its mark. Most of all, I am aware that as I am back at home surrounded by the colors of spring, the same drama and trauma is being played out minute by minute down on the cardiac wing of Maine Med. The CNAs and other caregivers are for me right now the surest signs of God’s presence on earth.

I don’t where where it will go from here. But I cannot really force any meaning out of it right now. I am tired. These, I guess, are the days of the dull moon. I didn’t even know there was such a thing. I hope I can learn from it.

Author: Dwelling in Presence

Striving to live in the present where Spirit is found, I get (t)here most often by writing. It keeps me grounded in both the silence and in my senses. So, welcome to my journal. With a home on mid coast Maine, I have recently retired from 18 years as copastor of The First Church in Belfast, United Church of Christ, with my spouse, Joel Krueger. My spiritual formation has been nurtured by the sensual and sacramental faith of the Roman Catholic church, the heady intellectualism of Yale Divinity School and doctoral studies at Northwestern University, and the justice activism of the United Church of Christ in which I am ordained. Yale Divinity gave me the opportunity to study with pastoral theologian Henri Nouwen who I continue to think of as spiritual mentor these many years later. I have begun this blog to be certain to reach out in a time of great transition and chaos. We are suffering a worldwide pandemic, a global climate crisis, a war-damaged world and great upheaval in the church. With these reflections, I want to share what gives me joy and that which gives me pause. I look forward to hearing yours comments. View all posts by Dwelling in Presence