TRAFFIC ON THE DECK

Rev. Dr. Kate Winters, “Dwelling in Presence,” August 30, 2023

As the chickadee stares at me from the edge of the birdbath for longer than I thought she would, I am reminded that I have not once tried to feed her this summer out of my hand. Or from the hat on top of my head. Is she wondering if I’ve given up on her? “No, little one,” I say. “I have just been sulking on the sofa.” She flies into the lilac bush and begins to sing her usual song. “I hear you. I never thought you would miss me out on this deck. But maybe you do.” And in this moment, I fall in love all over again. She’s been my favorite since my beloved grandfather taught me how to feed sunflower seeds to the chickadees many years ago from the deck in Connecticut.

Oh, who’s here now? Whoever it is, perhaps the song sparrow, there are wings splashing water all over. He leaves and two goldfinches take his place, one a dull green and the other neon yellow. By the time I look up again from my journal, they are replaced by two hummingbirds on the feeder hung over the bath. It feels like rush hour on the back deck! Perhaps it is like this at 5 p.m. every day in this spot. Or, could it be that they all want me to know that I’ve been missed? I can feel my gratitude flow out from me. Can they feel it as it glances their feathers and moves out into the trees?

A thought strikes me as the chatter of the goldfinches rises…oh wait…the chickadee is back and has joined one of the hummingbirds on the feeder. Yes, she is sipping the sugar water. Her usual chickadee-dee-dee-dee call has gentled, as if she does not want to disturb the hummer. I have not heard this particular call from this particular bird before. It’s actually melodic. More soothing. Perhaps it is her peace offering for getting a share at the hummingbird’s table.

Okay, back to the striking thought. I have spent many an hour over the years on this backyard deck looking for a connection with the wildlife, especially the birds. But could it be that what I yearn for, a deep relationship even unity with them, is already there? Are we not already a part of one another through living on this miraculous earth? We are made of the same stuff. We have the same source. We need the same things. I was warned over time not to “anthropomorphize” the creatures, not to assume they think or feel like I do. However, is it possible that in our fear of anthropmorphizing, we have built a deep chasm between them and ourselves. It may be that we do share some of the same yearnings, to feel the profound connections among and between one another.

These beautiful and wild creatures approach me as I approach them, with caution and care. We all want to know that we are safe and secure with one another. After all, we have all been created by the same love.